Beers of the World – Spain – Vol. 1 (Ambar Radler)

Ambar Radler Beer

Prior to arriving in Spain, I assumed that the majority of my drinking would be focused on wine and sangria.  The wine prediction definitely came true.  It’s awesome.  The sangria, however, is not what I expected.  It’s usually only made at family outings and isn’t available in restaurants/bars like I had hoped.  The stuff they serve at bars is out of a tap or a bottle.  Fail.  So, beer is back in the game!  Unfortunately, most of the beers I’ve tasted are crappy pilsner-types with no defining characteristics (there seems to be a theme developing here) and lame branding.  But I’ll keep drinking them and writing about them because that’s what a good writer does.  He drinks.  And I suppose he should write some too.

 Ambar Radler

Disclaimer: this is one of the first “beers” I had in Spain.  I was on the beach with some new friends at some overpriced restaurant that didn’t have a beer menu, so I balked and ordered the shandy.  I had no idea it had an ABV of 2.5% — seriously, isn’t that the equivalent of cough syrup?  If I’m going to be overcharged, at least make it a strong brew.

The Basics

  • Country: Spain
  • Type: Shandy
  • ABV: 2.5%

The Bottle & Branding

The Radler gets points for coming in a brown bottle, but the branding is pretty boring.  A white label with gold band and black lettering looks fine but does nothing to stand out.  The lemon slice is a nice touch, but to be accurate the entire bottle should have been a lemon.  In fact, ditch the bottle.  Just hand me a lemon…and some vodka.

The Beer

Ambar Radler Beer

The “Cerveza & Limón 2,5%” really sunk my battleship when it arrived at our table.  Not only did it have a miniscule amount of booze in it (devastating when drinking with 18 year olds); but it also tasted like lemon candy.  This “beer”, and I use that term begrudgingly, is the liquid equivalent of Fun Dip.  You remember Fun Dip, don’t you?  The flavored sugar with a white sugar “stick” that you lick and dip into said flavored sugar to eat it.  Yeah, that’s this beer.  If this beer had a spokesperson, it’d be Wilford Brimley.  BeerAndaBackpack Beer Rating Score: 3

 

The Beer And a Backpack Beer Rating Scale:

10: This stuff is made of unicorn smiles and the best song in the world.  There is nothing superior in any galaxy.

9: Did I just become Batman?  Because drinking this will LITERALLY make you Batman.

8: When you’re a kid and it’s Christmas morning and you actually get exactly what you want, that’s this beer.

7: I could drink a paycheck’s worth of these beauties and still not get a hangover.

6: It tastes pretty good.  I’d buy this beer for home consumption.

5: This is beer.  That’s it, it’s just beer.

4: Something isn’t quite right here.  Is somebody watching me?  Do I have lettuce in my teeth?

3: Awesome, yeah, I wanted to spend the next 12 hours with my face in a toilet reviewing the contents of my stomach.

2: This “beer” is the equivalent peeing your pants while giving an important work presentation and finding out your significant other is sleeping with your best friend…at the same time.

1: Falling into a nest of Bullet Ants would be preferable right now.

0: Kill me. Now.

Best For

Causing diabetes.  Inducing a sugar coma.  Making yourself feel like a kid after going HAM on a bag of Halloween candy.  If you limit yourself to one bottle, you can call this a dessert beer.  Otherwise, you’re riding home with somebody else because I don’t want you puking up neon yellow in the back of my car (if I still had a car).

Regret Level

*Calculated out of 100% based on how bad I think I will feel after a night of drinking only this beer.

95% epic level of regret

Have you ever had a champagne hangover?  Sucks pretty bad, doesn’t it?  This beer would make a champagne hangover look like a gecko standing next to a T-Rex.  It would be a prehistoric level of pain.  You might actually opt to be eaten by the T-Rex than to endure a day saddled with this amount of misery.


Disclaimer: Don’t be stupid.  Follow all local laws and don’t act like a drunken idiot.  Drink responsibly!