Prior to arriving in Spain, I assumed that the majority of my drinking would be focused on wine and sangria. The wine prediction definitely came true. It’s awesome. The sangria, however, is not what I expected. It’s usually only made at family outings and isn’t available in restaurants/bars like I had hoped. The stuff they serve at bars is out of a tap or a bottle. Fail. So, beer is back in the game! Unfortunately, most of the beers I’ve tasted are crappy pilsner-types with no defining characteristics (there seems to be a theme developing here) and lame branding. But I’ll keep drinking them and writing about them because that’s what a good writer does. He drinks. And I suppose he should write some too.
Disclaimer: this is one of the first “beers” I had in Spain. I was on the beach with some new friends at some overpriced restaurant that didn’t have a beer menu, so I balked and ordered the shandy. I had no idea it had an ABV of 2.5% — seriously, isn’t that the equivalent of cough syrup? If I’m going to be overcharged, at least make it a strong brew.
- Country: Spain
- Type: Shandy
- ABV: 2.5%
The Bottle & Branding
The Radler gets points for coming in a brown bottle, but the branding is pretty boring. A white label with gold band and black lettering looks fine but does nothing to stand out. The lemon slice is a nice touch, but to be accurate the entire bottle should have been a lemon. In fact, ditch the bottle. Just hand me a lemon…and some vodka.
The “Cerveza & Limón 2,5%” really sunk my battleship when it arrived at our table. Not only did it have a miniscule amount of booze in it (devastating when drinking with 18 year olds); but it also tasted like lemon candy. This “beer”, and I use that term begrudgingly, is the liquid equivalent of Fun Dip. You remember Fun Dip, don’t you? The flavored sugar with a white sugar “stick” that you lick and dip into said flavored sugar to eat it. Yeah, that’s this beer. If this beer had a spokesperson, it’d be Wilford Brimley. BeerAndaBackpack Beer Rating Score: 3
The Beer And a Backpack Beer Rating Scale:
10: This stuff is made of unicorn smiles and the best song in the world. There is nothing superior in any galaxy.
9: Did I just become Batman? Because drinking this will LITERALLY make you Batman.
8: When you’re a kid and it’s Christmas morning and you actually get exactly what you want, that’s this beer.
7: I could drink a paycheck’s worth of these beauties and still not get a hangover.
6: It tastes pretty good. I’d buy this beer for home consumption.
5: This is beer. That’s it, it’s just beer.
4: Something isn’t quite right here. Is somebody watching me? Do I have lettuce in my teeth?
3: Awesome, yeah, I wanted to spend the next 12 hours with my face in a toilet reviewing the contents of my stomach.
2: This “beer” is the equivalent peeing your pants while giving an important work presentation and finding out your significant other is sleeping with your best friend…at the same time.
1: Falling into a nest of Bullet Ants would be preferable right now.
0: Kill me. Now.
Causing diabetes. Inducing a sugar coma. Making yourself feel like a kid after going HAM on a bag of Halloween candy. If you limit yourself to one bottle, you can call this a dessert beer. Otherwise, you’re riding home with somebody else because I don’t want you puking up neon yellow in the back of my car (if I still had a car).
*Calculated out of 100% based on how bad I think I will feel after a night of drinking only this beer.
95% –epic level of regret
Have you ever had a champagne hangover? Sucks pretty bad, doesn’t it? This beer would make a champagne hangover look like a gecko standing next to a T-Rex. It would be a prehistoric level of pain. You might actually opt to be eaten by the T-Rex than to endure a day saddled with this amount of misery.
Disclaimer: Don’t be stupid. Follow all local laws and don’t act like a drunken idiot. Drink responsibly!